Online dating isn’t easy and Tinder’s swipe left/right function has made it even harder because now you only have a few seconds to make an impression so how do you make the right one and ensure Tinder success?
#1: Set your Goal Tiger
First you need to work out what you want from the app; are you looking for a one off hook up, a regular friends with benefits arrangement or a long term relationship. It’s important to establish that before you start as you need to convey that message. Saying you want to have a long term committed relationship and no hookups is fine but if all your pictures are of your cleavage (presuming you’re female) or abs (if you’re male) and no face then you’re sending a mixed message.
As Tinder links to your Facebook profile it’ll use your most recent profile pictures which is fine if they are suitable. However there are lots of profiles out there which feature no pictures of the person or only their children and those profiles will get no success at all (hell no). Double check the pictures Tinder intends to use and you can change them if you need to.
Your main picture is the one people will be judging so it needs to be killer. A picture of you with your mates may make you look fun but also you risk someone thinking that you are your hotter mate so the main picture needs to be you on your own and make sure it’s in focus – an out of focus picture makes you look like you’re trapped inside the phone. Mistakes are going for the MySpace angle, duckfacing or using a picture where your face isn’t clear because no one is going to look twice at a picture of you in a hat with a shadow where your face should be, so you need a nice clear shot and try to make it interesting. Everyone uses selfies so be different, be creative baby! Use your second and third pictures to show off your geeky side, like your killer cosplay or a pic of you with your favourite celebrity from a comic con.
#3: Write your bio bro!
Don’t forget to add some text about yourself. Your bio only is visible once a person has tapped on your picture so they are interested and now you need a hook to keep them interested. The common mistakes people make are –
- Listing what they don’t want in a partner. This comes across as negative and like you’re no fun at all.
- Writing an essay or too much detail. Light, fun and catchy is the key here. “I am James, I’m 35 and work in an office. Love snowboarding.” is deathly dull whereas something daft can get interest like “Who would you rather kiss – Donald Trump or a 90 year old Ryan Reynolds?” (Hey!)
- Not being entirely honest. You may have done one session in the gym but if you list going to the gym as a hobby then you’re likely to attract people who go to the gym regularly and will expect you to want to come with them.
- Cliches. You’ve kissed lots of frogs and now you’re looking for a prince? Not heard that before… There’s a whole internet out there man!
#4: Don’t be too choosy
Everyone wants to date a multimillionaire doctor (or a green-haired-sexy-psychopath) but it’s a good idea to keep your expectations realistic and like profiles that are a 6/10 and above. You may not want to date a 6 but people can look better in person plus there’s a little thing called personality so someone you don’t immediately think of as gorgeous may actually be an amazing person who you do want to spend time with.
#5 Closing the Deal
If you’re a woman you may have already had 300 messages featuring dick pics, cheesy lines, outright asking for sex or all 3 but if you’re a guy you’ll probably find that your matches are a little more reserved. Most women on Tinder expect the guy to message first and that initial contact has to be good because “Hi”, “You’re gorgeous” and so on have been done to death… actually that’s a lie, it doesn’t need to be good it just needs to be something that encourages the other person to reply so it can be ridiculous, funny or anything you think may get a response. Ladies, if you aren’t getting messages from your matches then take control and message them because a lot of guys have fragile egos and won’t try and chat up a girl they think they’ll get rejected by.
The bio is a good way to approach this because if your match is looking for a committed relationship and is into archaeology, museums and libraries then a dick joke may not be the best opener but a joke or a question about one of their interests is much more likely to get a positive response. If you don’t get a reply then wait a day or two and send a second message but try something new. If that doesn’t work then move on because no one likes desperation. AND NO DICK PICS.
If the match does reply then you want to move the conversation to text at the earliest opportunity but don’t be pushy. If you’re a guy, asking a girl for her number may come across as creepy so give her your number instead and that way there’s no pressure on her. Sure, she may not call but at least you didn’t sound like a serial killer. If you agree to meet up then coffee is always a good suggestion because it’s somewhere public and non alcoholic drinks are safe whereas suggesting meeting at a pub, bar or club can sound like you want to get the other person drunk, especially if you’re a man suggesting it. It’s better to meet for coffee and if things go well you can move on to a pub.
#5.1: Gear4Geeks’ Golden Rules For Dating Geeks:
- When meeting someone you’ve met online meet somewhere public in the daytime. Make sure someone knows where you’ll be.
- Play safe. Condoms suck but STIs are worse especially now that there’s a strain of Gonorrhoea that’s incurable to add to the other incurable STIs, HPV (Herpes) and HIV – yay.
- If you want a relationship then don’t have sexy time with the person on the first date, instead hold off and get to know them for a few weeks first. It’ll weed out the people who just want a hookup and if things don’t work out then you won’t feel used.
- If you are totally cool with the idea of your friends seeing you naked then feel free to take nude pics or vids but otherwise don’t. Just cause you love and trust ’em now doesn’t mean you always will. So Good luck and remember hero, what would Deadpool do?